A wave of homosexuality swept across the world late Monday morning...

A wave of homosexuality swept across the world late Monday morning, and investigators at the United States State Department have pointed the finger at a website based in the United States. As we can neither confirm nor conclusively disprove that spreading this website would decrease the fertility of the world's humans. 

On the website, the jargon of the youth included many references to "cute twinks," "bussy" (a slang term for "boy pussy"), and casual bullying of people for their reasons ranging from the victims' identities, the poor choices of the victims, or the raging inadequacies of the bullies--and oftentimes, all three.

Investigators concluded that the wave of homosexuality, which started showing up as people began clamoring for "bussy" in "real life," had one common factor: the newly homosexual all shared a browsing history which included this website.  To date no homosexual orientation occurring as a suspected result of browsing the site has been reversed.  

The website's operators did not respond to our request for comment.