Selena Gomez also announces a new single to premiere in collaboration with Mexico's biggest cartel in celebration of the milestone

The Nobel Prize Committee has announced its recipient for the Nobel Peace Prize as the cast and crew of the widely controversial Emilia Perez. This makes the film the first to be recognized by the Committee, who described it as “a groundbreaking revitalization of the cinematic medium.”

“In 5,000 years, three works of art will tower above all else: the Mona Lisa, Lana Del Rey’s Born to Die, and Emilia Perez.” Their full statement is over 15,000 words long and includes a scene-by-scene analysis of the film, including 3,000 words alone dedicated to highlighting the “richly detailed satire” and “genre-redefining” La Vaginoplastia musical number.

Although the selected committee is usually kept anonymous, World Grey News can exclusively report on a few figures involved. These include a woman by the name Nettie Felix, conservative blogger Blaire White, filmmakers Madonna and John Waters and a mysterious figure known only as “Ben.”

Read the reactions of the most notable recipients below:

Jacques Audiard

“Je tiens à remercier le comité du prix Nobel pour cet honneur. Pour être honnête, tout cela s'est produit pendant que je regardais Narcos et que j'écoutais mon fils regarder Drag Race France dans la pièce d'à côté, et je me demandais à quoi ressemblerait un mélange. Passer de ça à autant de récompenses est déroutant, mais je ne me plains pas.”

Selena Gomez

“No… bell… oooohh, that thing. Yeah, it’s really cool that I got that. My trophy shelf is mostly MTV music awards and that one Cannes thing I got last year, so it’s nice to spruce it up a bit. I probably won’t be able to pick it up myself though, because I’m busy promoting my NEW ALBUM, I SAID I LOVE YOU FIRST. STREAM NOW!!!

As part of my research for Emilia Perez, I shadowed some members of the Sinaloa cartel. Nice guys, just make sure to always have earplugs on hand. We formed such a good relationship that to celebrate this achievement, my new single “Don’t Take It Personally” will premiere as the backing track in their upcoming execution video. Make sure to give it a watch!”

Karla Sofia Gascon

“Justice has been served. I would like to thank the Committee for their impeccable taste, my director, Jacques Audiard, for bringing this project to life, and my incredible co-stars, Zoe Saldana and Selena Gomez. But above all I’d like to thank myself, for never giving up, never giving in, and triumphing over darkness once and for all. Once again, I’d like to apologize to anyone I’ve hurt. But also I totally had the last laugh, suck my clit bitches.”

Zoe Saldana

“........ no comment.”