After a tip from a distressed viewer, the Pembroke Pines Police Department (PPP.D.) has uncovered evidence which implicates popular Twitch streamer Jason "Thestockguy" Frank in a string of events linked to an international group of cultist extremists

Popular stocks, bondage and Marbles Twitch streamer Jason "Thestockguy" Frank - also known as TSG, Stocky, Stonko - has an occult following. With "Money, Memes, Mayhem" as his motto, Frank reels in thousands of loyal millennials a day. Viewers come from all around the world to shadow trade Frank and participate in highly coordinated and sophisticated Diamond-hands through pump and dumps schemes. Frank offers financially binding advice to anyone who is a registered Twitch user through a community program he calls Y.E.P. C.O.C.K.. What this acronym means remains unknown to this day. Frank boasts a significant Discord community and has thousands of followers on Twitter. Frank even started his own community Exchange Traded Fund (ETF) under the ticker $MUFF in the spring of 2020.

Thestockguy's followers often times jokingly refer to themselves as cult members. It seemed to all be in good fun until one community member and moderator Wadalgo decided to speak up about what really goes on behind the scenes of Frank's Twitch stream.

“In the beginning, I honestly enjoyed Stocky’s stream a great deal. It even got me through some harsh times in life. Stocky’s seemingly boundless optimism and energy are enough to keep everyone around him going.”

“At first I was a degen: I went all in SPY PUTs. After just a few weeks, I ended up following all of Stocky’s plays (shadow trading). I made a fortune on $ACB. After that, I had proven to be a loyal member of the cult. Stocky helped get my house refinanced. He claimed I had saved over $100,000 over the course of 20 years. It seemed to good to be true.”

Viewers regularly demand "bloodmap sacrifices". On the surface these sacrifices seem fairly innocent. Reality does not agree, Wadalgo claims: “Bloodmap sacrifices are more than just the cult’s rite of passage. They cost 25,000 channel points each – a steep price to pay. I have been sacrificed several times. Each time the red in my blood flowed green in Stocky and the cult’s positions on the market.”

“At first I was really into it. After all, this thing runs high to the top. I will not name anyone, but there are without a doubt Twitch staff members involved. I figured that was a sign that the ‘cult’ was just a joke. I thought we could trust Twitch staff.”

“To my family, however, these blood sacrifices were the final red flag. One night, after I had taken off my robe and and wizard hat, they sat me down and told me that I am in an actual cult. I was in disbelief. We talked for hours. I ended up looking up the definition of cult online and it turned out that my family was right. I immediately decided to call the PPP.”

“Some people are in even more deep than I am though,” Wadalgo continues. “Every morning before the opening of the markets, hundreds of cultists gather to hear the word of their charismatic leader. Of course you can only get in after paying a tribute. Stocky claims there are Friday freebies, but some leaked morning calls indicate that these are actually orchestrated and only serve to lure in new members.”

When we reached Frank to ask for his side of the story, the only thing he had to say was: “what? Who are you? How did you degens get into my house?”