Lonely? Depressed? Broke? Over 20? Why not make a Fursona?
In this age of the digital world sometimes the key to happiness is just a little fuzzier than you think.
Queens, New York. - Research suggests that due to the rise in technology many youths don't get the same amount of creativity and imagination that spawns from what is considered a "normal" childhood these days. "What we are witnessing is a shift in the way young brains take information and reshapes it," says Brenda Fletcher, head of NY Children's DuPont. "Due to unsafe conditions, Pandemics, and an hostile environment created by the generations before them, Children today are using their imagination less. However when these children get older they don't lose that desire to create and imagine. It is shaped into a new desire to express themselves!" she exclaims. What does this have in common with furries?
A fandom misunderstood by many, but now growing in popularity due to the influx of digital spaces online, being a furry is not only cool... its almost mandatory. "Young adults are looking for hobbies that fill their needs for creativity and to get a sense of purpose in the world." says local college counselor Mary. "It used to be concerning, but once I noticed how so many of our students started to lighten up and show their creative side I started to make "Fursona creation" a part of my program," Mary exclaims. After a brief detour to the student area we got to speak to one of the fandom members. "Its a cool way to express yourself" says 23 year old Jenee aka "Pitch_who_eats_the_Rich778346". "In real life you have to present yourself in a certain way 24/7 and have zero room to let your personality shine. So when I'm online I'm sure to really cut loose!" Jenee proceeded to engage us in a 30 minute discussion about the lore of her Fursona "Pitch" whos main trait is the ability to sing. "Nobody online needs to know I cant carry a tune" Jenee chuckles, "They just need to know I have a hypothetical beautiful voice"
"To be honest I'm just broke," says Justin. "Yeah I play football, yeah I'm six foot 4, yeah I'm 270 pounds, yeah I could crush anyone in my way, but I enjoy this fursona thing on weekends" We asked Justin what his fursona was but he hesitated to tell us. "Oh y'know, its big and its fierce!... Id show you guys but I don't wanna disturb you with all the blood and dismembered body parts, too raw for ya," He proudly proclaimed before shoving a piece of paper of what appeared to be a pink poodle with large thighs calling the viewer "Mommy" into his backpack.
Our team spoke with the rest of the students on campus and discovered while depression was down, so was the hygiene. "I swear these people forgot what deodorant even is!" exclaims Bob a local furry hater. "These ni**as are wild!". We calmly observed Bobs sour cream-ish white skin before calmly leaving as he made a scene.
- By Kafka Lee, Dec 27th, 2023
